BREAKING NEWS: Shabba slams down his gloves

929077Reports have emerged that TTFE resident goalkeeper Joe Newbury has taken an indefinite sabbatical from goalkeeping starting today.

The news broke early this afternoon when Newbury called an irregular press conference at Sophia Gardens. It was rumoured to be an announcement about the upcoming 11-a-side match with the ‘8pm Team’ but it was explained that pitch negotiations were still ongoing.

“It is my intention to hang up my gloves at regular TTFE matches for the foreseeable future”, Newbury said almost tearfully reading from a pre-written sheet.

“I have enjoyed my time as one of TTFE’s resident keepers and I’m proud to be part of an elite group of goalkeepers, such as Greg Davies and David Weller. Not to mention the healthy rivalry I have with good friend and excellent shot-stopper Billy Collins. However I now feel that I must play more games away from the sticks and offer myself a new challenge in developing as an outfield player”.

The announcement comes as a shock to the TTFE community, with sources close to him dumbfounded by his intention to come outfield.  It is being described as the biggest shock to the game since Karl Manley’s last retirement.

Newbury was keen to stress that this move wouldn’t be permanent or would it affect TPC games.

“I am aware that as a keeper at TTFE I’m bestowed with an important responsibility – one which has helped in creating competitive games at TTFE. That responsibility is to maintain an almost unspoken balance of goalkeeping with my fellow keeper Billy Collins. Therefore I would like to reassure TTFE that when it comes to TPC games I will continue to be available as a keeper, if required of course.”

Newbury also hinted that he could be back as a keeper by the end of the year, suggesting a possible return by the time of the US Presidential Election which is in November.

“This isn’t au revoir to goalkeeping – merely an adieu. Maybe I’ll be back with gloves on by the time you’ll all be saying President Trump”.

Other than wanting a ‘new challenge’, Newbury didn’t offer other reasons for his decision and he chose not to field any questions from the press. However it is believed that he simply wanted a change and improve his fitness levels.

About Shabba

People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results - Albert Einstein
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