The Barbarian Slaughter

Callum at half time… nice pants Cal!

So, in what this pundit has gone on record as the upset in the competition so far, Callum ‘the Barbarian’ Gigg has beat slaughtered Chris ‘all talk’ Phillips and gone through to the semi-finals.

In a game that was billed to be ‘one sided’ and ’embarrassing for Callum’, Callum shocked and awed with an impressive performance. The Barbarian turned up prepared with notes/research and his classic, quiet but confident demeanour before setting to the task of taking Chris’ team apart!

Chris’ disappointing was evident to all present but has gone on record and said:

“Well, Callum must be favourite for the whole competition now then! I clearly underestimated him as he was clearly the better team-picker, captain and player!”

Sadness in the eyes of the fat, mouthy lad expressed how humbled he was to have taken on Callum though as he went on to say:

“It’s really a shame because I only really started the competition because I wanted bragging rights and I’m not convinced that’s what everyone else is in it for the same thing, I think they just want a bloody t-shirt! Nobody else is even claiming they have a chance at winning, it’s all so polite and so TTFE!”

Chris’ team failure… too old, too crap!

And was Chris gracious in defeat? Well, not really. Although he has said on many occasions that Callum was the better picker, captain and player, when asked if there was anything he’d do differently and would he pick the same team he has also controversially said that he would pick differently!

“Sure, there were some good players on my team but there were some disappointments too, I won name any names here but let’s be honest here – we lost, we were not good enough, the team and myself are to blame for that!”

“Yes, I’d definitely pick differently, a stronger defence, a better balance and possibly the chance to still be in the competition now, but it’s too late isn’t it!”

“I got it wrong on the day and picked a losing team… what a bunch of losers!”

“I’m telling you right now, I wanted some of the players Callum took from the pot, and I chose some that I shouldn’t have, I made some picks based on the player rather than the team… I started thinking, ‘he’s good’ rather than, ‘he’ll fit well in the team’, or ‘I need him to fill that position’ – Callum wasn’t so Naive, he stayed calm and picked balance!”

So, onto the semi-finals:

Jon Ridout vs Gareth “Big G” O’Neill
Billy Collins vs Callum Gigg

Given the previous games, Big G’s smashing of Joe and Callum beating the competition favourite and sexiest player,  it might be a case of Billy and Ridout scrapping it out for bronze pride and Big G vs Callum in the final.

It’s being said by the louder pundits now that Callum will go on to win it but I guess we can only wait and see really.

Either way, the TPC is likely to move up a gear now as people get closer to the cotton-polyester mix!

About Chris Phillips

I really like polony, but it's so hard to find it these days
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One Response to The Barbarian Slaughter

  1. Joe says:

    What a great interview! Honest and heartfelt!

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